Thursday, November 3, 2016

Is It Muggy Outside, or Is It Just Me?

I apologize preemptively for my stretch of a metaphor. You've been warned. I also apologize because it was SUPPOSED TO BE COLD OUTSIDE... and I'm kind of bitter about it... Anyways.

I don't know about you, but I love mugs; perhaps because they can be whimsical, or because of the warmth they bring, or because one can drink hot chocolate, or coffee, or tea out of them. But I love them. And it's that time of year again (at least for me) where I pull out my blanket, my fuzzy socks, my owl mug, and my hot cocoa mix and spend a little bit of time taking care of myself when it's (supposed to be) chilly and cloudy.

Recently, I've noticed that I've been taking care of myself a lot. There's the phrase saying that "you have to fill your cup before you can fill someone else's," and I've been wondering why mine has felt so empty. Is my mug just small--meaning that it needs to be refilled more often? Have I been emptying myself out without realizing? Have I carelessly been spilling everything on the floor again? Or is something else wrong--is there a crack or a hole in my mug?

Some people are better at helping others, and are better at coping with stress--which means that while they might not look like they have to take care of themselves, they just don't have to as often.

I have a tendency to focus on things that I have done wrong, and I often fail to notice when I've done something useful. When I perform a simple act of kindness, I don't see it as that; I see it as something I should automatically do. When I hold the door open, or when I listen to a friend or a stranger talk about their struggles, it's not an act of kindness in my mind; it's a common courtesy. Perhaps we notice when we are drained when we have done something hard for us--when we have went out on a limb to help someone, we notice the effort. But we don't notice the effort if it's a habit. But the habit still takes energy. A gymnast still uses a ton of energy even if she knows her routine by heart.

It's also difficult to be our best selves when there are cracks and holes in the mugs. For the sake of the metaphor, I'm saying that cracks are sin, and holes are manufacturing errors--things that we can't control (mental illness, stress, trauma, and life in general). Sin wears away at us slowly--sometimes so slowly that we don't notice how much. We make bad decisions and notice them after the fact. We deal with stress; some of us worry, and some of us worry a lot. There are things that, to a certain extent, are beyond our control, that drain us.

A mug can't work if there are holes or cracks in it--at least not as well as it should. Someone has to fix it--with glue and ceramic pieces. This process takes time, and efforts, and lots of layers of glue. The holes and the cracks are still there, but they're manageable. Similarly, we have to glue ourselves back together, and find those who will help us; we have to take care of ourselves. When it comes to sin--going to confession, thinking about what leads us to sin, making a plan to do better, and having someone to hold you accountable can be helpful. If we're struggling with something, a cup of hot coco, a hug, talking to a friend, seeking professional help (no matter how scary) is important. Something that I struggle with is remembering to eat and getting enough sleep. But smashing the handle off a mug isn't going to help fixing the hole in the bottom; it creates more work for the fixer.

I think we also need to dwell on what we are filling ourselves with--are we filling ourselves with good things or bad things that will leave stains? Are we taking opportunities to spend time with God and be with Him? Are we relying on Him? Or are we filling ourselves with our own personal happinesses.

Long story short: Take care of your mug, and fill it wisely.

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